Friday, 23 May 2008

Quiverfull Sims: A Very Duggar Follow-up

I had intended to give the sim!Duggars a realistic 18 children, but fate (and ACR) intervened and the LORD opened Michell's womb once again and two children of the LORD were born. Jimmy Legs and Jinger (yes I know Jinger is a legitimate Duggar name, but you can't get much funnier than that. I think when Jinger grows up she can birth a quiver of misspelled spices.)

And the LORD did rejoice.

In the meantime, the older Duggar offspring were coming of age and going out into the (immediate) world on their own.

Jigolo Duggar

Jigolo got a job in the politics career track, so he could carry on Jimbob's work of outlawing telescopes, weather balloons, and all other scientific equipment. He purchased a tiny little house, which is all he could afford on the $6000 he moved out with (his portion of the television special money received for the births of #15, #16, #17, #18, and #19 and #20). He set about finding himself a repository for his manly seed, but encountered a problem: all the women in Zoidberg were already married. Jigolo was forced to lower his standards of morality and virtue, and precure himself another man's wife. He met Dominique Kelso, who wore midriff baring tops, had a career in law enforcement and had a husband and three children.

Jigolo bested Dominique's husband William in a bout of fisty-cuffs.

It had the desired effect and Dominique sent William packing. Dominique got custody of their daughter Amelia, while William kept Billy and Trinity.

Amelia didn't take the news well. Aww.

Life went on, and Jigolo turned his attention towards advancing his career so that they could buy wallpaper, and expanding his Quiver with Dominique. Unfortunately, Dominique was nearing the end of her fertile years and the LORD was not blessing them with children (I guess He doesn't give His gifts to adulterers and career women).
Eventually Jigolo had provided his family with wallpaper and a telephone, and the LORD rewarded him for his hard work. Soon the family were blessed with a baby: Mary Duggar. Dominique had virtually no chance of conceiving again, so Jigolo decided to maximise his Quiver by moving in Dominique's ex-husband and two children. This had the bonus effect of gaining control of William's substantial fortunes.

Jorja Duggar

Joey Joe Joe Duggar

Juno Duggar

Joker Duggar

Joker changed his name to Toker, purchased a pimpy leisure suit, got a small house, a job in the slacker career track, and promptly died.

Oh well, plenty more where he came from. On to the next Duggarspawn.

Jam Sandwich Duggar
Jam Sandwich changed her name to Kate

Joystick Duggar

(Another sim post that was left unfinished for 2 years. I guess I didn't have time to put in the photos so I left it for another day that never came. Oh well, publishing anyway!)

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