Monday, 11 February 2008

Quiverfull Sims: The Griffin Family

Jerome Griffin married Sabrina as soon as she became a teenager. He had a newborn son, Joseph, from a dalliance with Ruby Montgomery while I wasn't paying attention. I hadn't even seen them meet much less romance. I arrived back at my desk from fixing a sandwich and found Ruby well into her second trimester. It was only after the birth that I could consult the family tree and find Jerome to be the sire. Being that Ruby was a sinful unwed mother, I gave Joseph to his father to be raised the godly Quiverfull fashion surrounded by many legitimate siblings.

Jerome and Sabrina enjoying God's marital gifts. They do this a lot.

They have a home business selling cooked fish. If only the game allowed bread making, then they could have a loaves and fish shop. (This is Kyle doing restocking. He is Spawn #5)

The five oldest Griffin boys replenishing the fish stores. From left: Lennon (#6), Kyle(#5), Maddox(#3), Stanley(#4), and Joseph(#1).
The Griffins have three other children. Youngest son Nigel was a newborn at the time of this picture. Isadora (#7) was a toddler taking a nap at this point. Sabrina and Jerome first child together, Hannah, was married off as soon as she became a teenager, before the youngest three children were even born. She married Jonathan DeLeuth and has three children of her own so far.

There are only two bathrooms in the house, but that doesn't stop the boys from clogging up the queue by playing pirate. The red polo shirt/khaki slack uniform that the boys wear is a tip I garnered from the Duggars. Group conformity in bold primary colours. It helps keep down the urges.

Isadora being lectured by golden son Joseph. This outfit was the closest I could get to the fug of the Duggar style prarie dress. Similarly, the hair proved to be a challenge. None of the sim hairstyles combine the long hair with the crazy poofiness of Michelle Duggar's do.

Of course when you see an outfit like this you can't held but concede they have a point with a strict dress code. This is just a monstrosity. (And look at her lack of nose! This is what happens when aliens and sims breed).

Jerome and Sabrina try in vain for a ninth child. I almost felt bad for them until I remember how whiny their existing children are.

Maddox becomes an adult and begins taking college courses online while remaining living at home and sharing a room with his teenage and primary school-aged brothers.

Isadora becomes a teen and is dressed in the most modest teenager dress I can find even though that still has a bow on the chest to draw attention to her evil, evil boobies. She is allowed some subtle pink lipstick to draw attention to her countenance (not red, everyone knows only whores wear red). She has childbearing hips and functional milk ducts. She is over the age of thirteen and she is ready for marriage!

Sadly just as Isadora begins her breeding years, Sabrina's have drawn to a close. her fertility is at 1% and it would take a fundamental miracle at this point. Their marriage acheived seven children (and Joseph). They provided for themselves care of their fishing pond, but did not manage to homeschool (mainly because I hadn't yet installed the hack that would allow it). Not a bad effort, but we'll see if any of their children manage to have homeschooling families in the double digits. Maybe I should focus on some wacky naming habits. The Griffin family were named based on which page I opened my name book onto. When I named Isadora I realised I had a straight run from H,I,J,K,L,M, so Nigel was given an N name. I wouldn't have minded 4 more children to bridge the gap from N to S, but it wasn't to be.


IL Social Worker said...

Hilarious! I have the Duggar family set on a Google alert and this came in this morning. I especially love the red polo shirt/khaki outfits and Maddox taking college courses online. Oh soooooooo naughty! So funny!

Angela said...

The matching red shirts make it art.